I thought I would never see the day that he would eat anything unless it was beige and heavily covered in breadcrumbs. But... it has come.
I hasten to add he is still suspicious of all things green, unless they have really and truly proven themselves to be introverts i.e. imperceptible to the human taste bud. However he is now eating all manner of exotic ingredients like ..........celery.
It has been a bumpy ride. I asked for, and heard lots of advice. I listened to it all, tried some of it, and ultimately aged 10 years in the process. I read parenting books for the first time since I said goodbye to the toddler years and I tuned into all sorts of experts on radio shows. I really tried.
I am afraid to say after all that, there is no magic solution or pearl of wisdom I can offer except that it was process not unlike allergy screening. By process of elimination I discovered the two facets of the dilemma; the reason for the problem, and the strategy that best worked for us. I can therefore tell you that both of these issues are as individual as the child. One thing is for sure, that it is completely and totally worth all the hard work.
Feeding your kids is such a fundamental thing about being a parent, particularly a mother that I am truly amazed at how psychologists and child development experts seem surprised that we get so damn worked up about it. Even after nights of swotting and googling 'food fads' and discovering the agreed wisdom was that reacting to the tantrums was not necessarily the best approach, I could not help but act emotionally. I would wring my apron and demand the plates were cleaned, discuss health issues, send the child to bed hungry and sometimes sob. Of all parenting conundrums (with the exception of driving long distances) this without doubt brought out the worst in me.
So as not to bore you with every strategy I tried, as I most definitely would bore you, I will get to the punchline and tell you what the problem was and how we solved it.
It turns out that food was not so much the problem, but the weapon that was being wielded in a war that was being fought on another field. In actual fact the cause was so divorced from the whole food issue, that it is still hard to imagine that one can have anything to do with another. The cause was to do with inter family relationships, nothing serious, but enough of a big deal that my son felt the need to redress the balance a little and take control in an arena that he appeared to have control over.
So liking or disliking food had nothing to do with it.
I did actually already know that. The evidence was staring me in the face. The child would eat bolognese sauce with spaghetti but not linguini. Mashed potato and carrot only when mashed separately and subsequently mashed together. I mean COME ON!
So, I pandered for a short while. I allowed him to give me a list of his favourites and I cooked them or at least a variation of them for a week or two. He took the bait.
He already love helping in the kitchen, and I love cooking so that was Operation Goujon Strike II. He was called on for chopping, breadcrumbing, frying, packaging and freezing, beating and baking. We watched TV chefs for hours, on the premise that if he saw something we liked, we would make it. That was the day that the steamed mussels were born.
We read recipe books. We even saved up our two euro coins (yes both of us) in a large jar and bought a fancy schmancy kitchen mixer together. I think this was the most pertinent point. We did it all together. He is like me, in that company is everything. That is where I think I cracked it. No more dictatorship. My kitchen is now a modern democracy. Who knew that is what it would take? I certainly never would have guessed.
It was not overnight, I have merely crossed the Rubicon, the conquering is still a ways off.
But I have a boy who is now eating french onion soup, because he made it. He eats chicken morrocan stew with coriander, cumin, and dried fruits because his favourite spice cinnamon in in it. He is eating prawn and veg stir fry because he shelled the prawns.
Really the point I am making is that the whole process was like a CSI case but the result has been incredibly worth while.
I would still suggest you listen to the experts, although I can promise that not one of them will have the answer, you just have to go through the process of allergy screening them 'til one sticks.
May the force be with you!
No comments:
Post a Comment